tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68080920396372772512024-03-13T08:50:57.033-04:00Piccolo's butlerA butlers internship with a young Alaskan wild man living in the fringes of the bush.piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-27547691199440879052010-10-03T20:12:00.002-04:002010-10-03T20:14:39.122-04:00I am beginning to understand American terminiology, Sir.I now know way you get a 'piece of ass'. It appears to me, Sir, that if you got the whole thing at once it would kill you.<br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-90854958772470017982010-10-03T20:06:00.002-04:002010-10-03T20:11:56.440-04:00Sir, I am afraid I will have to give you my resignationbecause last night I let my frustrations get the best of me and drank far too much at the Ship's Wheel....Yes, Sir. I admit I said several terrible things about you...<br />Sir, could you explain what you mean by "Welcome to the club?"...<br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-41527559323027327772010-10-02T19:43:00.002-04:002010-10-02T19:50:46.866-04:00What are you going to do with that can ofpaint, Sir?... Oh, yes. I see. I might add that he certainly does have it coming.<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />You're right, Sir. The Three Stooges really are a 'guy sort of thing'. I truly hate to admit it, but I do see why American men do Curly imitations even though it is thoroughly ridiculous.<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />By the term'Boy Scout water' do you mean the kerosene or the gasoline, Sir?<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />You are absolutely correct, Sir. I never gave it much thought, but there is nothing in the world more indignant than a person that gets what they have had coming to them. The look on that Lefty chaps face was priceless.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-16474363078292090122010-10-01T20:34:00.002-04:002010-10-01T20:56:38.874-04:00I must be getting forgetful, Sir. I was starting to cookand then I remembered that tonight was free spaghetti night at the club.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Sir, if we move our camp so near the cannery, won't there be a vermin problem? Right, Sir... SPCA. The biggest, meanest Tom they have.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, you spent the entire afternoon working like a naavy cleaning out that old womman's garage and didn't charge her a dime...Then again, we did manage to pick out a few things we can use from the refuse we hauled off... You also say she's the best cook in town? You, Sir, should be running General Motors!<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Bad news, Sir. Blaine Welsh was killed while fishing...The barman at the Ship's Wheel said his father would be coming into town to take his son home...Yes,Sir. I'll make sure we're at the airport to meet him.<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />One hundred and thiry two dollars and two airline tickets to St. Croix? That won't buy us a single night in a decent hotel! Then again, I suppose we will live here about as well as we live hee, Sir. I'll pack immediately.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-27171229215247001572010-09-30T20:43:00.003-04:002010-09-30T20:48:54.686-04:00You certainly have a high pain threshold, Sir.That is quite a knot on your head, but the tree looks like it took the worst of it.<br />---------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Sir, I have noticed that the more primitive you cook something, the better it tastes. At School they never taught me how to simply throw an excellent piece of beef into a raging inferno. <br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Fishing with a pole, Sir? I see...we're fresh out of explosives.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-28655792259487064462010-09-28T21:24:00.002-04:002010-09-28T21:36:13.325-04:00What do you mean you could use a good bust in the mouth, Sir?You certainly don''t intend to get into a fistfight, now, do you Sir?....Oh. I see, Sir. The tall woman in the high heels.<br />------------------------------------------<br /><br />King Crab again, Sir? I never thought I'd say this, but it does grow rather tiring.<br /><br />------------------------------------------<br /><br />To the vinyard it is, Sir. Do you want the Welch's grape juice or the bargain brand, Sir? Oh, and I shan't forget the sugar, yeast, and I will make sure to grab a five-gallon water cooler bottle and a condom. You do make a fine wine, Sir.<br /><br />------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-74020135379169040832010-09-28T08:48:00.002-04:002010-09-28T08:56:48.847-04:00Do you really think you will get away with that, Sir?I see,Sir... They probably WILL pin it on that little savage, now, won't they?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sir, they did not teach me brawling skills at school, Sir. However, while working with you I have managed to learn quite a bit. Calling it 'hands on' training is the most accurate description I can think of.<br /><br /><br /><br />While you were out fishing a storm came up and for a minute I was worrried. It then occurred to me that you are highly unlikely to drown at sea, Sir, because you have obviously been born to be hanged. <br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-3088345784721286322010-09-27T20:44:00.002-04:002010-09-27T20:48:29.057-04:00Sir when I cleaned out under the bed I found arather large of woman's undergarments. Her bottom must have been a yard wide. Of course the two empty whiskey bottle I found next to it probably explain it.<br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />How nice of you to feed that hungry little kitty...Sir, do rinse that fork off so your breakfast doesn't taste like Little Friskies.<br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.Day to day observationshttp://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-3492625788500556652010-02-17T07:22:00.002-05:002010-02-17T07:24:23.203-05:00The butler has learned to dodge a flying beer bottlethe hard way.<br /><br />He is presently at the doctor's office getting six stitches.<br /><br />Piccolo will pay the bill by installing a new sink at the good doctor's house.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-71835323332267003592010-02-16T07:41:00.002-05:002010-02-16T07:53:32.402-05:00It won't move, Sir?...I'll get you a bigger hammer immediately!<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />There are three fish inthe sink, Sir. Which ones are we going to eat and which one gets tied to that MacAdams chap's muffler?<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I sense a boat trip is in the offing, Sir... Commercial fishing?...No, Sir, I do not want to go commercial fishing...Two hundred dollars a day, Sir? I'm your man.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, How do I fill out the proper tax forms on this?...I don't?... Cash?...Very good, Sir.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-1414735821898098302010-02-15T14:52:00.002-05:002010-02-15T14:58:13.672-05:00A haircut, Sir?You are going to pay someone to cut your hair? Outstanding!<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />The barman at the Ship's Wheel told me to tell you that Mac Adams paid your tab...Yes, I know you won quite a bit playing dice with him the other night.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />It was most generous of that contractor to give you an entire sheet of plywood to mend the bed of the pickup, Sir...Oh. I guess I overestimated his generosity. Mum's the word.<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-80639073620160310152010-02-13T08:43:00.001-05:002010-02-13T08:43:55.871-05:00The butler is presentlyon vacation.<br /><br />Lord, he need it!<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-63128753504414950832010-02-12T09:18:00.002-05:002010-02-12T09:21:06.187-05:00today we leave the butlerwatching Piccolo being chased by two creditors and an angry boyfriend.<br /><br />"Good God, if he makes it to the pickup, he just might get away!"<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-82098033798895263062010-02-11T08:21:00.000-05:002010-02-11T08:22:02.820-05:00The day off?Thank you, Sir.<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-67915619444608758412010-02-10T09:01:00.002-05:002010-02-10T09:09:09.293-05:00Sir, It has been quite a peaceful day.Have you been feeling ill?<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />A train crash, Sir?...Oh, I see. It's a figure of speech.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Who, Sir? Ah,yes. I will make sure he gets taken care of. A bottle of that inexpensive vodka he likes should suffice nicely.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-37931943683323774382010-02-09T09:16:00.002-05:002010-02-09T09:29:51.144-05:00Good shooting, Sir.tonight we will eat like kings.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />This hooch the native chap made us may not be Glenlivet 12, Sir, but I am growing quite used to it. I believe he used more raisins in this batch.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sneaking in the back window at Miss Carey's tonight, Sir?<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />The attendent at the sanitary landfill was asking about you today, Sir, as was one of the city councilmen....Yes. I'll take care of the attendant forst, as he is FAR more important to us than a city councilman.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-53578426415702013512010-02-08T09:45:00.000-05:002010-02-08T09:46:17.119-05:00RUN, SIR, RUN!And run they did!<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-42300399871425898302010-02-07T08:26:00.002-05:002010-02-07T08:35:59.048-05:00No, Sir. I did not waste any money onfood. Just the beer you specifically ordered.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />He what? Oh, Sir! Woe shall be unto him!<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, when I was shopping through the rubbish tins this morning I found something I thought might be useful...Thank you,Sir. I certainly try.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />A Three Stooges marathon? I shall watch the entire thing carefully, Sir, as it seems to be a universal thread of communication among American men.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, you do have a certain way. I am quite sure that if the Queen knew you as well as I do you would never have to fear prison. She would have a special cell in the Tower of London reserved especially for you.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-25294321374338408902010-02-06T07:42:00.004-05:002010-02-06T07:57:03.376-05:00The dishwasher has arrived, Sir. What kind ofmongrel mixture do you think he is?<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, that case on ammunition has a thousand rounds in it...Oh, it ought to see us through the winter.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Ahh! Halibut! Most excellent, Sir. I do not know how you manage, but we seem to eat somewhat better than those that are far more comfortable than us.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I can tell you what this is not, Sir. It's not the Glenlivet 12 year old single malt.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, the barman at the Ship's Wheel told me that a Louise is looking for you to take care of an electrical problem. The barman told me she's a good cook, so I won't<br />prepare dinner this evening.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-6012350367101556492010-02-05T07:47:00.002-05:002010-02-05T08:07:21.286-05:00A barrel for burning trash, Sir? a very good idea...Air holes?... Yes, Sir. And how much ammunition should I bring?<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, That constable you seem to know told me to thank you for something he would not say, He said you would know what he was talking about...<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />At the Willoughby School for Butlering, they never told us that taking care of a client's household would include breaking a chair over someone's head.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I like it, Sir.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Since I arrived here, I have had to learn frontier social graces. It's very informal here, Sir, but by anybody's standards, that man is rude...The Piccolo Finishing School of Manners?...Never heard of it...The cudgel?<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Ahh, It's bath day! Delightful!<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-86604101895330599852010-02-04T08:45:00.003-05:002010-02-04T09:10:24.957-05:00It probably is a good idea to take the train, Sir,as the pickup is quite likely to have problems.I went past the rail ayrd and there were a number of empty boxcars, so accomodations should be no problem.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />We JUMP, Sir?...Oh, dear!<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />A Russian ship has pulled into port, Sir...You know about that already? The political officer?... You put what in his drink?...Sir, How about tattooing the the Stars and Stripes AND the Union Jack on him?<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Outer Mongolia, Sir? How far is that from the Lefty Davis cabin out on Cape Chitka?<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I don't think this is one of your better ideas, Sir.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Sir, I have done the best I can to remain civilized in this God forsaken place.On the other hand, I must confess to the immense satisfaction I received upon punching that little savage in the mouth.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Good morning, Sir. I see you're covered with glitter and smell like inexpensive perfume. Perhaps you require the services of Jim Beam to compliment your morning coffee.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-88102854605593402802010-02-03T14:05:00.002-05:002010-02-03T14:16:31.432-05:00It has occurred to me, Sir that your day to daylife as compared to someone a bit more comfortable run in a certain parallel. One could say the biggest difference is the number of zeroes on the end of your annual income.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I stand corrected, Sir. A hammer WAS in fact, the proper tool for the job.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />A fish fry, Sir? Sounds like a suitable way of getting people to bring beer.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />That Ralph chap, Sir. The one in the wheelchair. I notice a lot of the chaps help him in and out...Vietnam?...I see, Sir. Most excellent. I will make it a point to keep and eye on him and help out.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, the barman at the Ship's Wheel says that they're saving their aluminum cans for you as payment for services rendered...Yes, Sir. I understand scrap metal is up. You should make a killing, as the fleet is in and the fishermen seem to have done quite well.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />She's quite attractive, Sir. Looks like you will not require the services of a six pack if you get her to go home with you.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />That's one way of putting it, Sir.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-40210413956935246752010-02-02T08:30:00.002-05:002010-02-02T08:46:53.103-05:00Sir, You don't habitually carry a gun.Why did that woman at the gentleman's club ask you if you had a pistol in your pocket?....Oh. <br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />It interests me,Sir, to find out if your lifestyle will keep you younger than your years or age you ahead of your time.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Outstanding, Sir! You fixed the window on the pickup. Now I won't have to tape the plastic sheeting on every time it blows off.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Bowling balls, Sir?...Free?...I fail to see what you would possibly want with the bowling lanes castoffs...I suppose a truckload of free bowling balls is nice to have...From an airplane? Oh, dear!<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-12490074211105465872010-02-01T06:46:00.002-05:002010-02-01T07:08:35.198-05:00You what?Well, it's certainly a good thing you didn't get caught,Sir.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Yes, he did turn water into wine, Sir. That would certainly be an interesting skill to have here, now, wouldn't it?<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Yes, you! I was certainly not addressing some cartoon character, Sir.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Not now, Sir. As you say, they get more generous after dark.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />But,Sir!<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Sir, I found a short length of ladder at the sanitary landfill and I have taken the liberty of hiding it behind Miss Cheryl's shrubbery. Frankly, I'm getting tired of having you stand on my shoulders to climb in her rear window.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />The barman at the Ship's Wheel mentioned that he considered you one of his favorites, Sir.He said you always had enough money for beer, but none for cocaine.<br />Having watched the crewmen of Sandy May the other night, I'd have to agree with him.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Well, Sir, Our financial tables may be in for an upsurge,as that native chap you buy a beer for occasionally told me to inform you that scrap metal prices are on the rise.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6808092039637277251.post-71266095280690229422010-01-31T17:43:00.002-05:002010-01-31T17:50:20.085-05:00Sir, it will now be a joyto drive a pickup where all you have to do to stop it is step on the brake pedal.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br />I can certainly see how you feel about Miss Angie's advances toward you, Sir. If I were in your shoes I would want to have nothing to do with a woman as foolish enough <br />to want a long term relationship with you.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Sir, I sufferred a flat tire in the pickup while in town. We now owe Blaine a tire, as I noticed that his tires fit our pickup...Right, Sir. We owe him a new may pop, as I left him with the balonay skins.<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br />My other blog is Piccolo's Hash.<br />Day to day observations<br /><br />http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/piccolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185649590699727649noreply@blogger.com0